25 Jul Why "Why's" are little landmines!
Psychic Mediums also asks ‘why?’
Lets talk about understanding and intellectualizing. How do these comments sit with you?
• Why can’t you just forget about your past! move on!?
• Why can’t you just shut off work when you are at home?!
• Why do you have to do that? I’ve told you once I’ve told you 100 times quit acting up when we are out!?
• Why can’t you just ignore them?
• Why can’t you just forget! I don’t understand your head!
• Why do I drive myself nuts with worry!?
• Why can’t you just be happy!! I hate it when you are so upset all the time.
Why is intellectualizing and is in our heads and not our hearts. Asking ourselves or others why we do something is like asking for someone to dissect their whole life with every second of every interaction and every exchange of energy in a short comprehensive explanation of our actions usually at a tense time. Why’s hardly every come when any party is in a good spot emotionally… normally they are charged with accusations and frustration. A lot of us are in our heads too much to start with and Why’s drag us back up between our ears and … ahhhhh…. we get even more frustrated and ticked
I had a life long obsession with why’s. What is wrong with me? Why am I so strange? Why do I feel so differently than others (or at least I thought so)? Why am I so anxious? Why was I always sick?
How did I turn it around? Being comfortable with a LOT of different emotions.
1. OBSERVE: When I was upset with how I showed up, I would sit and observe myself and think… “OK, that was a new one for you Kristen, where did that come from? reminds me of how I felt when that teacher used to yell at me. I was feeling threatened just like I was back then. OK, do I want to let that trigger go? yes. I don’t need that protection anymore”. And yes, it did take time to observe myself and I WOULD get frustrated from time to time when I started to say a situation was interesting, but I kept on coming back taking the emotion out of the situation.
2. HONESTY: I had to take a hard look at how I was thinking, how I felt about myself and others. These feelings were my indicators of awareness I needed, what I needed to accept and what I needed to let go. When I let myself… I would feel feeling of jealousy, angry, envy… and let me tell ya, I thought that made me a bad person. It didn’t! they were reminiscent of old times, old feelings and old energies that no longer have a place. Being honest about your feelings make them a lot less threatening. “OK, I feel jealous… got it… reminds me of…. I feel scared… I am afraid of ….”
3. COURAGE: I always felt like I had to have a nemesis, fight something or someone or be right. That wasn’t aggression in me, but fear. I was always afraid of someone hurting me so I had to have my guard up and strike first before being struck. Ultra-hyper-vigilant was the word and my body started to break down. Once I understood that there is no “they” out there to hurt me and who cares what they think anyway… I was able to let my guard down. That courage helped me let go of my resistance. With the resistance out of the way.. I could see myself for who I was and am.