22 Nov Holidays survival by using them as assessment tools
Holidays can be a great assessment tool! What?! Yes, the holidays are a great way for you to learn to assess your triggers. There is NO hiding your emotions during the holidays.
Does this sound like you…. “How do I survive the holidays?! ” “What can I do when my family is fighting all the time!?” “I am just drained by the end of December, what can I do?!” “There is not enough alcohol to cope with having to go to _______ home!”
When I was little, I was just amazed at the holidays. I could not WAIT for everyone to get together. Nothing was better than seeing all my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. It was all about me, my family and the wonder of “the holidays!” Now that I am older, I realize how much stress my parents and grandparents were under and understand the sentiment of “ugh, the holidays! I can’t wait for this to be over”.
Doesn’t it seem like the energy is all amped up in the month of Nov/Dec? Situations are blown of proportion? WOW. That is because it is. No running from past stuff that still follows us. Don’t we all want that “Happy Holiday” or “Merry Christmas” aka that perfect time that EVERYONE else has? Nope, not everyone (if anyone!) one has a perfect time over the holidays. What you see on Christmas cards, Facebook, etc. does not depict how people are actually feeling.
I feel holidays bring up all sorts of dynamics, hurts, resentments and just old outdated thoughts and feelings. This energy accumulates year after year, layer after layer, leaving us resentful, angry and confused. Why would I care now that my cousin, sister, uncle got acknowledged before me when I walked through the door? This energy is old out dated stuff that comes up during the holidays that we may or may not be aware of. So, let’s USE this time of year to move us forward.
If we push and push our emotions down and don’t deal with emotions (energy)… its like putting Band-Aids on slivers. The slivers are STILL there, you need to get them out and no, it’s not always a pleasant process.
My 2 cents?
- Change your mindset to be more realistic. “OK, I know I will have emotions come up, but that’s ok. I will use this time to find what I need to work on after the holidays.” “Well, I want to be more authentic, so now is the time to find out what’s holding me back!”
**NOTE** Having the mindset of “the holidays stink (or worse)” only puts you in a submissive position and not able to change your situation.****
- Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries are very important every day but are even more crucial during the holidays. We all have energy that needs to be healed and our bodies tell us what needs to be healed by our feelings. **Boundary options** I like to either ask Archangel Michael to surround me with his blue light or imagine myself in a hamster wheel with mirrors out with the intent of maintaining heathy boundaries throughout the day. I use my imagination to clean out anything that is no longer in my highest good or does not belong to me of that ball around me. So, what is left if MY stuff.
- Pay attention to your body and emotions. If you have an out of proportion visceral feeling to a situation, you likely have healing that needs to happen in that area. Don’t judge but observe. Pay attention vs getting sucked in.
- Get these triggers out of your head and on to paper and let’s deal with in in the new year. Keep a Journal, notebook or piece of paper nearby and write down what you felt and when. Does not have to be long just “I felt angry when aunt Bessie hugged cousin Joe first“. Don’t judge, just write it down, let it go and deal with it later.**NOTE**: The key here is that you DO deal with these feelings right after the holidays.
- Give yourself a pass over the holidays! Take the holiday time as an assessment period. If you feel something, don’t try to shove those feelings down (food, alcohol, arguing etc.) but observe them with the attitude of “well, isn’t that interesting how I decided to show up today or how he/she is reacting. I will address that later“.
I learned years ago if I want to react – Don’t. you cannot unring that bell. Sit on your wisdom!
After the holidays, I recommend the following with the notes you took:
Journal: sit down when you are calm and write down about how you felt at that time(s) during the holidays and what that situation(s) triggers. Maybe you felt unloved at age 10 Aunt Bessie scolded you and not your cousin Joe when both of you were acting up. Nothing is too small or trivial so just write it out until you start feeling. No, you are not blaming, you are just moving outdated energy through. If you feel resistance like I did, take my recommendation and just DO it. Write until you feel a shift. Don’t stop when emotions get amped up.
Release: You may feel waves of emotions. Just let them go. Once you are done writing about that situation and have moved that old energy, take that page out of the journal or notebook and burn it somewhere safe. Send that energy out to the ethers, not to come back, because you don’t need it anymore.
Refill: Now, imaging your body filled with the Divine Love and whatever color comes to mind (Pink? White? Yellow?). I ask God to fill me up with his unconditional love and acceptance and imagine a golden white light all round me.
Are you ready for a better holiday season and wellbeing? Would love to get your thoughts on how your holidays go for you!