MOTIVATION!! …ugh…or lack thereof

22 Sep MOTIVATION!! …ugh…or lack thereof

When asked about topics, most everyone said they want to hear about motivation.

I had previously done a job about motivation but that was more about motives i.e. ulterior motives for doing something. This is about being motivated to do something and what to do when you are stopped. I did a FB live talk on motivation that you can see the recording of by clicking HERE.
From what I see, there are three types of activities called have to, want to and should. If you break them down into those categories, you can help yourself prioritize where your energy goes:
1. Have to’s are those things you just need to do. They are your nonnegotiable.

• You need to bathe, eat, go to meetings/work/school events, feel your animals, etc.

2. Want to’s are those things that fill up your soul.

• Hang out with friends, vacuuming or raking leaves (yes, one of my best friends LOVES to vacuum and rake leaves!), write a book, read, etc.

3. Should’s are those things what weigh… you… down. Depending on your day, they may be things that you normally like to do!

• Being around people, having a clean house from top to bottom, etc.

Caution: watch out for the should want to!!! This is where the guilt and judgement of “Hey, I don’t want to do this but I should want to”. That has judgement of yourself written all over it and is a toxic combination. Don’t confuse this with a want.
My recommendation is, when you are feeling unmotivated, is to first look at if this is a have to / need, want or should. If it is a should and you do not feel like doing it now, and not one will be harmed… hold off. Write it down, get it out of your head and come back to it later. But be realistic if what you are planning to put off is really doable such as “clean the house top to bottom and have it stay clean”. We all know that a list is never done and a home does not stay 100% clean for long. Start there and see if that helps your motivation. This will free up your energy for the needs and wants.
Few reasons I have seen for lack of motivation even on small tasks are:
1. Worthiness. “I am not good enough to____”. Next time try, I am worthy to ….
2. Learned Helpless.“I’ve been told I can’t _____”. Next time try, I am powerful enough to…
3. Overwhelmed. “I can’t do this so why try… “. Try I am going to break this down – end result is___. Is this something I really need to do now?
4. Someone is blocking you. This was brought up on the call. The only way someone can really impact you is if you engage or let them. Maybe it’s time to look at the role that person has in your life if they are truly trying to sabotage you or do not want you to be happy.
<<<< teaching moment real time…While I am writing this, I am losing my motivation and focus. It is 8 pm and I have been working since 8 am and I need a break. I am cutting myself some slack and am putting down the mouse and am saying to myself “OK, Kristen, what will fill you up?!” I AM now motivated to do dishes and clean up my kitchen which was something I was NOT motivated to do before. Even though I was almost done… my energy is not here and it will take me twice as long if I fight…stepping away and coming back when inspired. back now!>>>>
When we are motivated we are in the flow with our energy, moving through life and being present in the moment. The more I fight doing something or the more I distract myself because I am resisting… the more I resent it and the longer it takes longer.
When I don’t fight or give my lack of motivation any more power than it deserves… if often time melts away. Here is a typical conversation between Kristen’s ears “OK, I am not feeling this now. What’s going on? I don’t want to unload all these groceries. I am done, tired and done!!! Hmmm what’s that about Kristen? Well, I see 10 bags and can’t handle it it’s too much. Ok Kristen, let’s just put all the groceries on the table and see what we have, put them together with similar items and see how that feels. Better? Yes, like that” Crisis averted.
Try and observe what you are feeling blocking your lack of motivation… what has you stuck in quick sand. The more you fight in quick sand the faster you get sucked into the muck. Observe, don’t judge, feel, validate, give yourself a break and see if that blocked inertia will loosen up. In short… give yourself a break my dears!!