02 May Comparisons and Judgements
“Look at how much thinner she is than me, I am just lazy.” “Look at that beautiful house, how easy they have it so easy, I never get a break !” Do those sound familiar? When we are not feeling good about ourselves, it is SO easy to compare ourselves to other people or what we think people have.
Along with the comparisons are judgements about ourselves as well about being lazy, never getting a break, not being good enough etc.
What if that woman was sick and can’t keep weight on. Or that family in a house has that house due to a settlement from a hospital that put their child in a wheel chair needing around the clock care. Those are two real life examples of many that I have ran across over the years. When you find yourself comparing yourself to others, keep in mind that you don’t know their stories.
The other side of the comparison coin is judgement. “My beliefs are always right!” “Look at how they are raising those kids” “Shame on her, I would never act that way”. When we compare ourselves to other people we can get to be a Judgey McJudgerson too.
Why else would we feel a need to point out that we are superior in some way shape or form unless we are comparing ourselves to other. You have heard it several times… “judging others defines who we are…” “judging others is really what you don’t like about yourself…” Even with all the awareness…This is one I see a lot and I know I have come a long way over the years. It is easy to hide behind the veil of “I love them but they do ____” or “I will pray for them but they really make me mad… ” Or my favorite “Well, my truth is that you are a ____”. 🙂
Comparing ourselves to or judging others really comes down to how we feel about ourselves. The next time you have a “they are more or less than me….” thought, I ask that you take a good honest and non judgmental look at yourself for how you are feeling about yourself in that moment.
If you don’t feel you measure up, simple, you don’t have to. If you feel someone is not as good as or is not following your path, simple, they don’t have to either. If that awareness is not enough, maybe there is some energy that needs to move through and like a wise woman has said several times… sometimes we just need to get over ourselves! Love that.
I have learned a LOT about myself over the years and how my energy is my own, my reactions are my own, and how I decide to show up every day is my own choice. I have learned a lot about judgement over the years and have come a long way. The more I love myself, the less I judge other people and mostly myself.
#KristenMarchusHemstad #Medium #Judgement #comparison