29 Mar Anxiety and Creativity?
A very wise women told me years ago to do something creative when I am feeling anxious like journal, color, sing, paint, draw, doodle or anything.
I heard it in my head and have bought all sorts of things over the years but never followed through.
This has been a pattern for me of never being interested in anything. My Mother tried to get me interested in doing something but I would stop. Why? I thought I was just lazy. I delved into poetry for a while until my brother found it and made fun of me. That’s a brothers job I guess!
As I got older I tried to find a hobby and I would start a project but hardly ever finish. I rationalized that I didn’t have time or if there was not use for something, why create it? It would just be extra stuff I don’t need. It was a waste of time, resources and was just extra “crap” I don’t need.
I felt like this person on the left feeling so anxious that I just wanted to hide myself and not connect with anyone or do anything. My only solace was sleep to escape anxiety. Not a good way to live.
About a year ago, I went to a painting class with my friends where the company had the portrait sketched out for us on the canvas, perfectly laid out proportions of paint on a plate, brushes and oh… wine. How perfect!
When they said “ok, start with dipping your brush in the yellow and paint the background”. My friend next to me and I just froze. I asked her what was wrong and she said.. “I’m scared!!!” and I agreed 100%! We both did a fake cry and said “I don’t want to start… you start!”
Our amazing friends around us said “who cares! we can fix anything and this is just about having fun and not being perfect! Just have fun!”
When we were done, all the paintings were so unique even though the pattern was the same. We had a fantastic time creating and I felt SO relaxed and no, not from the wine!
A light bulb went on and I realized that I was NOT lazy, I was afraid. Afraid a project wouldn’t turn out perfect, that I would be wrong or I would look stupid. I’m learning to make time to create something for the fun of it. Writing, coloring, painting (I want to get finger paints and have fun!), doodling, mosaics, stained glass. There does not have to be a purpose for it. After I am being more creative, the anxiety has decreased and my intuition opens up. I get great insight and messages from Sprit when I am coloring.
Anxious? Doodle, draw a stick figure … anything. You don’t have to be perfect. We are all creative in our own ways. You don’t have to be a trained artist to be creative! Give it a try and let me know what you think!